Maybe I would become a mermaid..I would live in the swirling blue green currents, doing exotic underwater dances for the fish, kissed by sea anemones, caressed by seaweed shawls. I would have a dolphin friend. He would have merry eyes and thick flesh of a god. My fingernails would be tiny shells and my skin would be like jade with light shining through it. I would never have to come back up.
“
| — | Fransesca Lia Block (via alighthouseofwords) |
“agape” means unconditional love in Greek. Got it done by Justin from South Side Tattoo in Howell, NJ. my first tattoo =)
Life’s like an hourglass glued to the table - there’s no turning back. The tree symbolises building a life for myself and keeping all my memories. The birds are a reminder that shit happens but you have to let it go - leave it all in the past. Don’t get caught up in life, be a free bird, let your heart free and live for the future. ’Semper ad meliora’ = ‘always towards better things’.
i want a sick ass tattoo!!!!
This is my boyfriends second tattoo that he got on his birthday.
baby-doom.tumblr.com
I want this. But in purple…
I feel kinda sick. I really find it hard to remain optimistic as of late. Current cause of my unhappy mood: debt. Fuck being an adult. fuck having a job where you slave away and you can’t get hours from no matter how much you ask or prove to your boss what an asset you are, fuck being so broke you can’t even buy a charger for the phone your friend gave you so you could downgrade your plan and stop paying for your shitty phone that glitches all the time. FUCK towing companies and shitty ass apartment complexes that have put you the farthest in debt (to your parents) that you have ever been in. Seriously, I was so bent on moving out as soon as possible to gain my freedom that was so tightly kept from me by the claws of my overly-strict parents, that I pretty much effed myself over. *Sighs* And now I’m living with one of my best friends and her parents. And now I actually have to pay rent. So being an adult totally blows! (Not to mention I still don’t even have health insurance so heaven forbid I slip on some spilled frappuccino roast at work in my *cough cough* “non-slip” marching band shoes, I’d be fucked even more. I wonder how many times I’ve dropped the F-Bomb in this blog alone? Hmmm… fuck it. So I keep thinking, maybe I can get a second job? But then I realize I would just have to quit one or the other when I start school in the Spring (at the school I absolutely REFUSED to go to but kinda have no choice now because I fucked up that too). *Sighs* Again. So I may not be optimistic, but I’m still determined. Determined to just do what I need to get done with all this bullshit. It’s just two years. Two years of CSUSB and then I can transfer to CSUN. Transfer to my “dream” school. Only four years of undergraduate school and then three to get my MFA and hopefully I can quickly find somewhere to establish my career and begin to make bank. And in between that hopefully get married and be living somewhere stable. Not too much to ask right?
Or maybe I can just win the lottery so I can just buy my house already and be done with it. I’d still go to school because I want to better myself and still have the college experience and whatnot, but then I could quit working at Starbucks. But we all know that’s never going to happen (especially because I have really bad luck… possibly because I’m Irish and Native American and I think that might’ve crossed a line somewhere and now I’m just cursed with bad luck).
On the brighter, less sarcastic side, I got almost 30 hours accumulated this week by working at another Starbucks two days this week (which is more hours than the three days I work at my own store combined) and 30 hours next week (also working at a different different Starbucks) so my paycheck right before Christmas should be really good. So MAYBE then I could actually buy people gifts. Like my boyfriend. Whom I have told over and over again that I don’t want anything (I just don’t like getting gifts from people when I can’t gift in return, and I’m really worried I won’t be able to buy for him or anyone else this year). Not to mention, I don’t really know what to get him, because let’s be honest for a sec, we don’t really know each other that well because we are both busy all time and I know it’s partially me too, but he kinda sucks at this. ha. But I still love him. :) Which is included in my brighter side segment that I kinda forgot I was in the middle of… My boyfriend is absolutely amazing. It might have took him a little bit to kinda get it together when it comes to “us” but he really is amazing. Like, I honestly believe him when he says he loves me (not when he says he loves me more than I love him though, I just laugh in his face when he tries to get me to believe him on that one), and that is saying a lot. He just needs to text me more/make more time for me. Buut whatever.
So yeah, this is where I’m at right now. I want to try and write more (not that many people follow me ha), more for myself so I can attempt to get my head straight while things are tough. But yeah, this was a random rant/explosion of thought which is why it was so massive. But I miss writing, and drawing, and I really think I need to get back into the practice of both. I’m currently trying to draw my boyfriend for one of his Christmas gifts… buuuut it’s not looking too good -___- haha let’s hope though.
Toots for now.
